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This article explores the relational expectations of distance learning students and tutors. The authors' experiences teaching a degree course to mature students (mainly practitioners working for the National Health Service) highlight that the reality of the relationship is often incongruent with the expectations. This incongruence appears to have a negative effect on the learning process. In order to develop a more effective distance learning program the authors explored the experiences and needs of the students, via a series of focus groups and conversations. What emerged as being significant was the need for students to experience 'connectedness' with the tutor. How the students defined this concept and what practical measures the tutors took to 'connect' the distance between participants in the learning process are discussed.